Fresh Starts

Hello world, 
Apologies for the sudden stop of Blogmas, it was fun whilst it lasted but things happen and I had to focus on my mental health a little. Give myself a little TLC y'know? But now I'm back (hopefully) with a new blog post to welcome the new year.

As 2017 slowly but surely approaches, I've started to think about my new New Year Resolution. I make at least one every year (but never really stick to it) mostly because they usually involve loosing weight and dieting and both topics just make me zzzzzz. Boring. I've decided that both those 'topics' are no longer relevant in my life, but that's not my resolution..

(Image: Pinterest)

So, with this in mind, here are my resolutions..

  1. Organise my life. Right now I seem to let anything and everything slip between my fingers, whether it be loosing that doctors appointment slip or my eyeliner, it's getting beyond ridiculous now and I need to sort it out. 
  2. Gain some confidence. After the shit I went through during 2016 alot of my self confidence went out the window, and with that was replaced with Anxiety attacks. Alot of them. Time to throw myself in the deep end a bit, whether I like it or not.
  3. Learn to cook. I can bake, but I can't cook. Unless it's chicken. But seriously, who can't cook nowadays?
  4. Write more. I have lots of ideas for this here blog but I'm too lazy to write them down and end up forgetting them. I'm going to start carrying my iPad with me and writing down new and exciting ideas that pop into my head so I (hopefully) wont forget them!
And that's it really, not the biggest of New Years Resolutions, but hey, we all gotta start somewhere right?

What are your resolutions, if any?



On the eigth day of Blogmas..

Day eight:
Apologies for the super late Blogmas post today. I'm writing this post in the comfort of my dark bedroom on my iPad because my monitors are literally killing my eyes right now. What has happened you may ask? A migraine happened thats what. One of the worst ones yet, I've had little sleep, I've been dosed up on meds and I've been trying to sleep most of the day.

I'll make it up to you guys by writing extra Christmassy posts tomorow and through the weekend, for now I just wanted to let you know I'm alive and getting better and hopefully back on the work grind tomorow, woohoo!

To make it up to you all how about this lovely Throw back Thursday to 2014, can I have hair this long again please?


Toodlepip xx

On the seventh day of Blogmas..

Day seven:

Hello world, how are we all today? 
I feel like I've had a pretty productive day, although panicing a little this morning about being late for work because the buses were running late (again). I wasn't late though, my anxiety runs through the roof when it comes to arriving on time to things, like work, appointments and things like that, i'll arrive at least half an hour early, just to make sure I don't miss anything. It's programmed into my head now never to be late for anything.

Anywho, today for blogmas I thought we'd talk about little things that make me happy; winter eddition (that's right, keep your eyes peeled next year for more happies!) I strongly believe that it's the little things that make life special and crave happiness, craziness and amazing things in our lives. 

So here's my little honor post of my Winter happies.

 ❄ Frosty mornings - There's something satifying about waking up in the morning, looking outside and seeing tops of houses, the washing line and grass covered in white frost.

 ❄ Decorations - Although I'm (still) not as hyped up for Christmas as everyone else, I still love seeing peoples christmas lights up in their house and different displays in shops.


 ❄ Hot chocolate - Nothing warms my cold heart better than a really hot, hot chocolate on a cold day. 


 ❄ Weekends - Because now I could spend all day in my warm bed if I wanted to.


 ❄ Late night shopping - Maybe not all the time, but if you go at the right time, the atmosphere of everyone and eveything makes me feel warm and fuzzy.


 ❄ 'Most' christmas movies - Because if you can't watch a cheesy christmas movie on the box with your family when can you?

 ❄ Food - Because it's the one time of year I can eat what I want and not care of the judgement around me. "Laura, haven't you eaten enough Turkey?" THERE IS NEVER ENOUGH TURKEY.

I would love to hear what your winter happies are. Share the joy!


 ❄

On the sixth day of Blogmas..

Day six:

Hello world,

How are we all today? I've been scrolling endlessly through Blog Lovin' recently and came accross this lovely lady here who has written about 'The Winter Tag'. I haven't been tagged in it myself, but I read through her post and thought some of the stuff she had written was lovely and I wanted some lovelyness on my blog too, so lets get started, shall we?

Favourite place to go in Winter?
I'll be honest, I haven't really been anywhere during Christmas except for being at home with family so I'd probably choose that. Being at home watching Christmas movies, snuggled up with a soft blanket and Hot chocolate, urgh, bliss.

Favourite Winter nail polish?
I'm boring and I don't really wear nail polish but right now I'm wearing 'SuperSonic' by BarryM.

Most worn Winter clothing piece?
A green knitted cardigan I stole off my mum years ago, she and my nan made it. I'm never giving it back. Ever. (Sorry mum).

Most worn Winter accessory?
Probably just my watch, and I don't even wear it that often either.

Favourite Christmas song?
Rockin' Robin - Micheal Jackson

Favourite Christmas movie?
It's a toss up between The Grinch and Love Actually.

Favourite Holiday food?
I choose everything. Everything is delicious. Except Pigs in blankets, gross.

Best festive story?
I don't really have one? Maybe my best Christmas was when I got  my first mobile phone, I was around nine or ten at the time. My parents had put this tiny Nokia 3200 with a bugs bunny cover and had hidden it in a massive box that I had to dig through. Many games of snake were played that day.
Best Christmas ever.

I hope you enjoyed! I tag everyone who reads this to do there own Winter tag.

On the fifth day of Blogmas..

Day five:

Hello world, 
How are we all today?
I thought I'd try and get into more of a festive mood just so I'm more pleasent to be around and to my suprise it actually worked.. A little bit anyway, more festive than I was originally feeling.. Anywho, I thought I'd share a couple of playlists I personally liked and jigged along to:

This playlist is titled 'Christmas Crackers'



This playlist is titled 'Christmas Cocktails'



And what Christmas wouldn't be festive without some relaxing piano music?



If you read yesterdays Blogmas post you would of known that today was my first 'proper' day of work and I thought I'd tell you all how it went. It was a bit of a stressful morning. I had two anxiety attacks, one was because how I was going over how bad the day was going to be because my mind was blank, I felt like I had forgotten everything. And the other was because the bus was an hour late. Public transport is literally the Bane of my life. Two of them which decided to show up at the same time. Why do buses do that? Seriously. My body thought that two anxiety attacks wasn't enough and that my breakfast wanted to make an apperence yet again, i'll let you use your imaginations for that one. On the bright side I got to work fifteen minutes early which made me feel better, and you wanna know what made the day 100% better? We couldn't take calls! Why do you ask? A problem on the systems there end. (Thank god). Probably not the best way to think but after the morning I had I felt like karma was on my side today, so thank you very much karma.

How was your day today?

Toodle pip 

xx

On the fourth day of Blogmas..

Day four:

Oh hai.

As most Sundays go, I haven't at all been productive.
At least we made it to day four of Blogmas! Yay! I don't think I even made it to day three last year so I've already beat last year which I personally think is a good achievment in my case. I've had a really lazy day, the kind where you don't get out of bed until 1PM kind of lazy. On the bright side, breakfast involved bacon, followed by a roast dinner in the afternoon, so, if I'm honest, today could have gone alot worse.
I even went outside for a walk, just to the post box, but I still went outside.

I also 'properly' start my new job tomorow and I've never been so nervous about anything in my life... Up to this point. Even though I've had a weeks worth of training on how to use everything and how it works, I feel like I've forgotten everything already. Everyone in my training group last week had to do a 'tester' call with actual real life people and after it I thought I was going to be sick. I couldn't get the feeling out of my stomach for a while, it wasn't nice, it's kind of how I feel right now and I haven't even given myself a chance to do the job yet. Maybe I'm over thinking things or maybe I'm too hard on myself, I just don't see tomorow going well as to me trying to help people. I feel like I'm going to get in trouble alot and apologise alot. I apologise too much..

Sorry

Let's keep todays blog post short and sweet shall we? I need an early night and to de-stress and what better way to de-stress than to play video games? 
Also I thought this cat looked really cute and made me smile.
How did your day go?


Toodle pip

xx

On the third day of Blogmas..

Day three:

Hello world.
The christmas cards are written, the tree is up, and has been for about two weeks now, and the turkey is in the freezer. How organised am I? This week has been a mixture of me being mostly tired, stressed and sombre. A mixture of things I really don't like to be if I'm honest, lately I feel a bit lost with how I feel about certain situations and I need to get into tune with myself again. 




I'll be honest, I'm not really looking foward to Christmas that much any more, like the build up for it. I guess retail does that to you though, Christmas is so 'present' orientated now and you gotta buy this or that or you wont have a good Christmas, it's like really? It was nice when I was younger but now that I'm a bit older I just think that Christmas is just another day of the year not something to celebrate. 
Sorry for the downer of a paragraph, it's just how I feel I suppose. I haven't even got an advent calendar this year and that makes me a little sad honestly because who doesn't want chocolate before breakfast every morning for an entire month?


But life goes on and things change, prehaps i'll think differently as it comes more closer to Christmas, we'll see, I'm usually a little pessimistic before Christmas anyway, not the best way to be i'll be honest, I like to be as positive as I can be (And for the people who know me in person and not just through the screen can probably argue with that) but still. The more positivity, the better. 

And I suppose that's my little rant for Blogmas done for today. If there's anything you'd like me to write about let me know in the comments below! :) 

Toodlepip 

xx

On the second day of Blogmas..

Day two:

Hello world.
It's Friiiiiidddaaaayyyyy! Finally the start of the weekend, the end of getting up waaaayy too early (for some, sorry Jamie) and one day closer to Christmas! Yeeeeeeeeeeee.

I thought what better way to help you lovelies unwind, clear you head and reflect on the week, than by grabbing a cuppa and reading a few inspirational typography quotes I found that I thought you would enjoy. I really loved scrolling through Pinterest looking for my favourite inspirational quotes. I could literally spend all day on there just scrolling through the website, and I thought, y'know what, I'm attempting Blogmas, why not share some of favoriotes and feature them in a blog post.


I look back at this quote alot when I'm having a poopy day, I'm not very good at taking my own advice all the time but this one makes me smile.


Life advice, don't you think?


Love yourself, simple quote, powerful quote.


This is another favourite of mine, I compare my life alot to what others are doing and y'know what? It doesn't matter what others are doing, it matters what I'm doing, as long as you are happy with what you are doing why worry?


What qoutes make you smile? Tell me in the comments!

On the first day of Blogmas..

Image taken from Pinterest

Day one:

It's currently Thursday 1st December 2016 at 8:21PM and y'know what I thought? I'm gonna do blogmas, at last minute, as you do. I don't think I'm gonna post all of the 'Blogmas' posts I write on social media, I'll just leave them here as a pleasent suprise, for the next time you come and read something. Sound good? Awesome. 

I really haven't thought this through about what I'm going to write. Typical Laura, always doing things last minute and un-prepared. On the bright side, I have some good news (for once) I got a job! Woohoo! I won't go too into, but it involved phones, and computers.. I'll let you think what my new career move is (Shame on you with dirty minds) but I don't want to go into it too much on social media, I hope you guys understand! I'm just hoping it's something I can be generally good at after I get used to everything so please send me all your luck, I might even wear my lucky undies on my first 'proper' day.

I guess my Blogmas will be mainly rambles in my head, but I really want to TRY and blog everyday throughout December, I know I say it all the time but I really mean it this time (I hope).. Anywho I'm thinking of cooking BBQ chicken with melted cheese, urgh I'm drooling, it's late but it sounds like a good idea.

How are you lovies spending your evening?


DIY Hot Chocolate Peppermint Bombes


Hello world, 
It's finally that time of year where the weather is getting colder and more miserable and staying and home, getting cosey, and watching a ridiculous amount of movies and TV shows on Netflix becomes more desirable than going outside in the cold and rain all together. So I wanted to create a little something you guys can make yourselves to cosey up infront of a movie and enjoy. What's the thing I'm talking about? Hot chocolate of course! More specificly, Hot chocolate peppermint bombes. Winter is the best time for it and with all this horrible weather outside lately there's no better time than now to create this little treat. 

There's all different kinds of ways you can create hot chocolate, some people have different preferences with how its made, which you can use, but I'm going to go with a recipe I've always stuck with which works for me. So without futher ado, it might help if I write down what you lovelies need.

You will need:

  • 3 tbsp Cocoa powder
  • 2 Cups of Milk (any type, I'm using semi skimmed)
  • Spray cream
  • Chocolate sauce
  • Milk Chocolate
  • Two tsp peppermint extract
  • Mini mason jars (These can easily be found on eBay, or if you're feeling really indulgent, use your favourite mug!)
  • Heat safe bowl
  • Candy canes


Now the boring stuff is out of the way, lets get started with the fun stuff shall we?

First things first we're going to need to melt our chocolate to put around the sides and insides our mug, this part is optional, so you can skip past this if you'd like, but I thought this made a cute touch.

I'm doing this the super lazy way, which is braking up all the chocolate, putting it into a heat safe bowl and then bunging it into the microwave for 1 minute on a medium to high heat to start off with. Making sure you remove the chocolate from the microwave to stir, you want to repeat this step again first with 20 seconds then to 15, stiring in between or until your chocolate has a smooth consistency like so:


        *Drools*

Now for the fun part; you want to wait for the chocolate to cool off a little, but not so much so that it hardens over again (I don't want you lovies to burn yourselves so please be careful!), take your mason jars or mugs or even bowls, I don't judge, and place it upside down into the chocolate just so much so that the chocolate covers the rim of the cup. Repete this step if you are making more than one drink!

 I added crushed up peppermint candy cane around the rims for an extra cute touch!

Set the chocolate mugs off to the side for a little bit to set, it doesn't matter if it's messy, this recipe isn't inteded for pefected-ness!

Now for the star of the show, the Peppermint Hot chocolate!
We'll be using an oven for this part, so I suggest to my younger readers to get help from a parent or gaurdian before you do this step please!

You want to take 2 table spoons of Cocoa powder and then 4 tbsp of milk into a small saucepan over a medium - low heat and whisk until the cocoa powder has dissolved into the milk.  


You then want to whisk in the rest of your milk into the already dissolved mixture and switch it up into a medium heat, whisking the delicousness occassionally untill it is hot (but not boiling!). Before taking it off the heat, stir the 2 tsp peppermint extract into the drink and stir again.

(I forgot to take photos for this part, whoops). So, now that your delicious hot chocolate is ready, it's time to pour it into the cups you prepared earlier. I found it easier to pour the drink into a jug and then pour it into the mugs just so that it doesn't get EVERYWHERE, because if you're messy, like myself, it will.

Top with cream, chocolate sauce, whatever toppings you want and VIOLA! Yummy scrummy Peppermint hot chocolate bombes to warm the soul!

Nomnomnom

I'd love to see your creations from this recipe! Either tweet or instagram me using #geckohotchocolate 

If there's anything else you'd like to see me make, please send me suggestions, I'd love to do more posts like these! :)

Toodle pip! 

Overracting

There may come a time in most peoples lives where you come accross possibly the worst job of your entire exsistance. I wont go into too much information about the company, I'm not bad mouthing them in any way, this is just my opinion, everyone's entitled to one, and this one is mine, after working one five hour shift. Now I'm not one to always judge a job quickly, espcially after only one shift, I like to give the job a chance, y'know, to get into the job and the speed of things, which I thought was happening at one point, but nope, It was just the idea of it being quiet after being so busy that I liked more. I've also read now that the law has changed when it comes to having breaks within the work place, you have to work at least SIX HOURS for you to 'legally' have a break. Can you imagine how I was when I finished? I was a fucking state. Five hours washing dishes, no gloves offered to me, not that they had them anyway, and they were sharing ONE towel between four people to take out burning hot plates of food to the bar above us. My hands have never felt so ruined, it actually hurts to even type this my hands are that raw and red. Don't get me wrong, some of the people I worked with were fun and 'tried' to make convosation with me, other than that I stood washing dishes, by myself, for five hours, sounds like a fun job right? Wrong.
Image taken from Pinterest

Urgh.
This was just really a venting post, If I didn't write that my head would have exploded, but honestly, I think I'd still rather be unemployed than work here. Some of the way they deal with certain sitiuations too is disgusting, I'd even go as far as saying I think that somewhere like MC Donalds has better standards than this place. 

I guess in the long run I'm just gonna have to stick it out untill something better comes alone, as much as I don't want to, good things come to those who wait, and I've waited for four months now, can something good come my way now please?

On the bright side; 

Image taken from Pinterest

What would you do in this situation? I'd really appreiciate the feedback!

Toodlepip

x


This doesn't make sense

Hello world, 

How are you all doing today? Good I hope. I'm not sure how I feel today, if I'm honest, I really don't feel like myself, I feel a little bit numb, my emotions right now are non exhistant, and I feel lke I don't exhist? It's hard to explain, I haven't felt like this ever, I woke up feeling like it. I think the mixture of not working, not doing anything and hardly being productive has finally got to me and my brain has just snapped, as sad as it sounds. I think I'm going to write today off as a poopy day; where nothing gets done but I don't have to feel bad about it. Sure, I have stuf to do, but it will still be there tomorow and will get done then. I feel like not many people look after themselves well mentally as much as they to physically, and not looking after yourself mentally can be very, very, very bad. I've been there, but hey, that's another blog post for another day.

Image found on Pinterest 

As for the rest of the day, I haven't really done anything that I can call 'productive'. I managed to get out of bed and shower which is a plus, clean the kitchen and then plonked right back into bed again. Not as productive as I wanted to be today but there's always tomorow to be better. I need to find something to keep me busy, I'd love to blog more but the constant voice in my head telling me that my blog is nothing makes it hard. It's nothing to me, my blog is like my baby, but it's hard when a silly voice in the back of your head shouts at you contantly that you're nothing. 

On the bright side of all this crappyness, I finally got a job, I won't go into what it is or what i'll be doing but for now I'll be better off financially, kind of a little weight off my shoulders. It's a nice feeling.

I'm gonna crawl back into bed and think of other things I can do to keep me busy, things to write, sleep. What are your evening plans?

Toodle pip
x

Bad at Blogging

Hello world, Happy Halloween!

 prepare your butts, today's blog post is a bit of a long one.


So as some of you may or may not have notice I've been on a bit of a hiatus recently and for that I'm really sorry. I wont give you any excuses, I've just had nothing interesting (that I feel) you guys would enjoy reading. After loosing my job, some friends and feeling very isolated with almost everything I've been doing, I've just put my blog off for a long time, shut it away in a box in hidden it in a corner, but I thought today I would put on my big girl panties and finally log back into my blog. And did anything bad happen? Nope. Did I loose any readers? Not that I'm aware of.

My mental health right now is a bit of a state, and I wont lie, I feel like it had played a little part in my not wanting to write all that much. I've suffered on and off with for the past six years with GAD, AKA Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I won't go into it too much but people with GAD tend to feel anxious about a wide range of situations and issues, rather than just one specific event. (You can read more about GAD here). And i'll be honest with you guys, a bunch of questions have played on my mind for a long time; what if no one is actually reading what I write? How will I ever get my blog to grow? And that ladies and gentleman is the  question literally answered itself, I'll never grow or get readers if I don't actually write anything in the first place. Talk about being a numpty or what? I've decided to set myself a goal of one blog post per week, which will come out every Monday. No set time, or date, just whenever I feel like writing and posting, start of small and work your way up, at least whilst I get my head sorted

Image found on Pinterest 


Another thing that's been bothering me recently is my attitude towards people, relationships, my physical health and money. I've had a big kick up the backside when it comes to all these things and I've realized now I've taken everything for granted. Looking back I've had almost everything handed to me on a plate, whether its financial help from my partner, to paying for a swimming membership i haven't used in months to pushing people away for absolutely no reason. And for all these reasons and more I am truly sorry. I've been a massive butt and not even realized, I've taken too much for granted and it's time to give something back. I'm pushing myself to get my butt out of the house and go for a swim and wont buy that tiny bottle of coca cola just for the convenience and the worst one, but most 'adult' of all I'm going to try and save money. That last one will definitely kill me I'm sure but in the long run I know it will be better for myself and my partner. I'll be honest, sometimes I feel like people don't understand how difficult it is to save money when a) you don't have a job, b) You've never actually been taught to save money, and finally c) I'm an emotional eater, I eat my feelings. Alot. And buying comfort food is where ALOT of my money goes and this needs to stop, no matter how delicious that piece of fried chicken is. 

Ending on a brighter note, I've re-kindled some past relationships with family and friends, I don't know where they'll go but it feels like a little weight has been lifted from my shoulders which on top of everything else that's swimming in my head right now, is quite nice. It's nice talking to people I haven't talked to in a long time, even if you don't plan on really talking to them again for another long period of time, at least you planned to talk to them first.

It's not going to be easy, but it's going to be worth it, and let's face it, nothing in life that's worth having is ever easy.

And so begins a little new mindset on everything, how's your evening been people of the internet?

Toodlepip xx

I also wanted to dedicate this post to my partner, without him, I wouldn't be where I am today. Literally, I wouldn't have a computer to write blog posts on or anything. But seriously, Jamie, I love you, and I'm sorry I've taken us for granted recently. 

5 Ways I Relax

Hello world, 

Recently my anxiety hasn't been to kind to me. Not having a job, and my health which, right now is at a steady decline, I've had a somewhat stressful couple of months, so I thought I'd write down the ways I like to de-stress and calm down!


  1. Chocolate milkshake. It (nearly) always makes me feel better. Having something yummy in my tummy always does... Especially fried chicken..
  2. Bubble bath. Unlike people who like cool baths, I like to have mine scolding hot. Something about stepping out of the bath looking like a lobster just makes me giggle.
  3. Video games. World of Warcraft, Bioshock, GTAV or even Candy Crush, having some me time to my favorite game does the trick!
  4. Watch streams/you-tube videos. There's just something about listening to someone rage at a game that makes me at peace. Otherwise I like to watch creepy pasta videos on you tube. I'm not sure why these  chill me out if I'm honest, they just do!
  5. Make something! Write, doodle or even adding into my scrap book (which is something I should do more often) are little ways that make me feel better. Especially writing. What I like to do is write all the negative feelings I'm having at that moment in time and then rip them up. POOF bad feelings gone!
How do you like to relax? Let me know in the comments!



A Little Update..

Hello world, 

Long time no see, right?
i'll be honest, not alot has happened right now in my personal life, which is why I haven't been writing on here much. I figured what's the point of writing something I haven't put my all in than writing at all... That sentence sounded better in my head. 

Anywho, like I mentioned before, nothing much has changed in my life right now. I'm still looking for a career. Unfortunate for them, obviously, I mean look what they're missing out on; a quick witted, big beautiful blonde woman, with a good sense of humor might I add. I'll find something soon I know it, right now I'm concentrating on 'fixing myself', but hey, we'll leave that for another blog post another day, eh?

I also turn 22 on Friday! Officially OLD *Shudders*. I'm not ready to be a 'proper' adult yet. Part of me still just wants to sit in front of my computer all day and play video games but another part is saying "NO, you gotta go get your arse in gear and do something with your life" I'm not really sure what that something is right now, but I hope I find that something soon.

I've also been together with my partner for almost a whole year now - wow! I know what you guys are thinking; "wow poor bugger" but honestly I don't know how I would have coped this year without him, he's been my rock, my shoulder to cry on and my bear when I need a cuddle. (And I love him very much!)


And to end this post I've been working on BlogTober! I'm actually going to 'attempt' to post something new each and every day in October so you guys have that to look forward to!

I think that's enough writing for one day!

Toodlepip

Tattoo Time

Hello world!

Just a quick life update today;
Guess what happened to me today, that's right, I got another tattoo to add to my little collection. Tattoo number four might I add. Mother bears early birthday present to myself, which I couldn't be happier with.

I've been debating a showy-offey tattoo for a while now, I've always been nervous about having a visible tattoo since all mine can be hidden quite easily, but honestly I couldn't be happier with it. 

As sad as it sounds I've wanted a video game related tattoo for a while, I mean, why wouldn't I want an ode to my favorite game? (The Bioshock series), so I thought I'd look through some of the games concept art and screen shots until I found something I liked. And it didn't take a while.

Image taken from Google

I liked this one the most, I don't know why, it was the image that appealed to me the most, and I thought as a tattoo it could look quite sweet and dainty in a way. So I emailed the tattoo place and then this happened;


Still a bit bloody and gross in that photo but I couldn't be happier with it. I got it placed on my left wrist and decided I wouldn't have the actual writing put on it, but the tattooist told me I could come back when it's healed if I changed my mind and add shading to it, ect. 

And wanna know another funny thing? Today's the day that marks the three year mark I got my adventure time themed tattoo, kinda weird huh?