Oh hai,

I won't lie to you guys, I've been feeling a bit lost lately. Not having a job or really a social life is kinda starting to take it's toll on me. It's really dis-heartening when you apply for so many jobs and hear absolutly nothing back from any of them. You think employers would at least have the desency to email you to say you haven't been successful at least? Bleh. It's kind of getting to the point where I'm like, "is there any point of trying to find another job right now" but another part of me is like "you have bills to pay you can't afford to not work" which is true, and also not stressful in any way whatsoever. (Note the sarcasm).

I guess I'm just a bit lost within myself if that makes sense? I don't really feel like me right now, I just feel like I'm drifting through each day with nothing to really tie me down and set my head straight. I'm hoping this is something that'll pass, but right now I could legit stay in bed all day everyday and not doing anything, sounds like a fun life right? Aha. Please hire me someone?

The Blog is Dead

I'd being lying if I said I'd been productive rather than writing on here, but unfortunatly, my life recently hasn't been all sunshine and roses. I haven't been around here much lately mainly because I've just had alot of stuff to deal with, both in real life and the little imaginative world inside my head.. Yes, mentally, what a surprise. 

I went through a month where everything went to complete shit; I lost my job, my boyfriend, and alot of my confidence. I wont lie to you guys, April was a pretty shit month for me. Watching others who I used to go to school with or who I've got to know online just suceeding and going places and doing things with their lives makes me a little jealous. I'm just at a stand still, I've achieved basically nothing, all I'm doing lately is applying for jobs, cleaning or video games, no social life, nothing - You think when you apply for jobs that they'd have the decency to email you back saying you haven't got the job rather than just ignore the application wouldn't you? It really bugs me that employers do that. 

Anywho, no point dwelling on the past now is there? I'm currently trying to climb out of this whole I've dug myself and it'sm proving rather difficult. I literally have nothing to do in my spare time now, I acutally miss working. It's the worst being on doll money, not being able to afford rent or bills, worrying how you're going to get through next month, I can't count the amount of times I've cried myself to sleep because of all the stress. It's difficult, but like most people say, nothing worth having in life is free, which is true but with the economy going to shit the way politics is right now, I feel like my future has pretty much gone down the toilet. 

Image found here

On the bright side of eveything that's happened I'm thankful I get to go away on Monday on a mini break - to Thorpe Park, how classy right? But even then I still stress myself out with things like "But what if I can't fit on the rides" or "Shit I have like no money for this". Stupid things really, I'm going away to get away from stress, but I'm just making myself more stressful about the whole situation. Mental health sucks, am I right?

Speaking of money stress, did I tell you guys I made a Patreon account? Because I did, just in the mean time, I was hoping with the content I create and want to create that I could get help with you guys, If you're interested in helping me at all (which I will forever be greatful for) you can check out more info on the cute button below: