This is just a blog post to say..

I feel cute. 
It's amazing what a shower and some eyeliner can do after preasure washing the back garden most of the day and being covered head to toe in mud. 
Mumma bear wanted to take me out for dinner to say thank you, so here's my dumb face (not featuring the mud): 


I'm absolutely in love with this cardigen right now which I snatched up for £9 at Matalan, thank you very much. More body positive days please.



Beach Adventures

Today was a good day.
It's been a long time since I had a pretty decent mental health day but today was nice. No worries, no cares, no nothing. Just ocean, ice-cream and chocolate cake. (And obviously chicken).

Although it was due to be quite stormy today, mother nature suprised us and yet again gave us some beautiful weather, which was great for me after being stuck in the house for two days due do not having a shower; I'll give you the short version, my sister blocked the bath, no plumber available for two days, you get the jist of things. In the end, my hair was a giant grease ball, gross. Is that over sharing? Nah.

Me and my friends decided on a whim to head to Lyme Regis. I've never been there before personally, and neither have they so why not? 

And i'll be honest, it was bloody lovely. Sure, we should have gone earlier in the day, but the sea air and smell of fish and chips was bliss. 


It was just nice to get out of the house and breath. 

(I obviously Instagrammed the shit out of this photo)

For someone who spends most of their hours sat in front of a computer, it was just nice to switch off for once. I think everyone needs that once in a while, turn off the PC, but your phone on airplane mode and just take in the scenery.

Obviously it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. On the drive back mother nature decided it was time to piss down with rain, honestly, I've never seen rain come down so hard before, that added with thunder and lightning. Awe yiss. As we were coming home though it was so weird driving from a storm back into sunny weather, it was like, mother nature make up your mind. And then one of my friends tells me its supposed to snow again next weekend!? I honestly bloody hope it doesn't. I can't be dealing with anymore snow.

It was a lovely, spontaneous day. 
How did you spend your Saturday?




Not Worth Reading

Oh hai.
So, I'm gonna jump right into it but lately my mental health has taken a little (I say little, lets sugar coat it a bit, shall we? downturn. Recent life events have left me feeling a little broken. I won’t go into those events, that's an entirely different blog post all together for another day, but I just wanted to get what I'm writing here out of my head so it's not in there swirling around for the next few days..

I have no motivation to do anything, which is ridiculous because if anything my life is supposedly going great right now; New job, a horrible ex out of my life and blocked forever, slowly but surely becoming more healthy (ha!). But most days right now when I wake up I sometimes wish I didn't. As awful as that sounds, I find that most of the dreams I have right now are better than my reality, I've written some of them down for future reference (who knows, maybe I could make my weird dreams into something someday) and to see if any of the scenarios in my dreams conflict with reality but nothing, zilch, nada. I feel like my brain knows what's going on and trying to make the best out of a shit situation.

I know there's this whole stigma with people on social media who shouldn't write about their problems online and they should be happy all the time but truth is no one is happy all the time, if they are, I want whatever they're are taking. Life has it's ups and downs and I'm just having a major down moment in my life right now which is ridiculous. I have so much to look forward to; starting a new job, growing my stream, going to events and meeting people, but all that is at the back of my mind. I just feel a little bit broken.

Image Source

Like I said before, I just needed to get all this shit written down in front of me rather than swim in my head, personally, I find writing stuff down makes me feel at least 85% better since its out of my head in clear in front of me. Does that make sense? I'll snap out of it soon, I usually do. I just need to sort myself out and get out of this slump. If you find you're going through something similar don't hesitate to contact  me, because no one should go through anything like this alone. Surround yourself with friends, love and positivity. You can do this.

(P.S. Thanks for listening to me ramble, I'm just being a dumb dumb)