Coffee Time

New year, new Coffee Time, about time I did one of these right? So lets get started for the first Coffee Time of 2018.. (About fucking time)..

Today’s Coffee:

Vanilla flat white. One sugar. What’s new there? If you haven't had one try one, they're delicious. 

What today has consisted of: 
Stayed in bed until noon. Again. Had a bit of a wierd day today. Took mumma bear to the doctors, all is well there, mooched around town for a bit, had a nice coffee, all that jazz. Also ended up having a little panic attack in the middle of Boots which was all but fun. I think the fact I start my new job next week is getting to me more and more, I'm absolutely shitting it.

Things that have made me happy today:
Coffee, food, video games, new shoes.

Things that have made me sad today: 
Promises made that haven't been fullfilled.

 Currently listening to:

Apologies for the short post but I'm just not feeling very chatty today but thought I'd update y'all anyways, have a lovely evening 

7 Ways To 'Fake It Till You Make It', As Told By Someone Who Fakes It Most Of The Time

Now, you're probably reading the title of this blog post and thinking "Laura, whatever do you mean 'fake it till you make it?". Confidence. That's what. For as long as I can remember, I've never been the most confident person on planet, there's been days I've barely left the house because of how I felt about myself and what I would think others would think of me, where as now, I couldn't give a rats ass of what others think of me. Sure, I have the occasional down day, who doesn't? But I'm past the point of caring what others think of me, If they have nothing better to do than point out my flaws then fuck them, fuck everyone who makes you feel shit for the bad comments they've made about you even when that person doesn't even know who you are as a person. 

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So Laura, what's with the ranty blog post you ask? Well, I see so many people nowadays slating people for being themselves and bringing people down that on days like that, they could use a pick me up, or what I like to call it, a Fake it till you make it scenario. 

So grab a cuppa, sit your butts down and prepare to read 'cause this maybe a long'n.

Step one - Act like you're confident, even if you don't think you are.

Now, I know this is easier said than done, but with some practice it's doable. Now, the way I do this personally (which is probably going to sound quite a bit sad) is watch your favourite Youtubers and watch the way they act. I'm not saying be like them, far from it, I mean the way they are in general, especially when around other people. Bubbly, happy, carefree and whatnot. Sometimes someone else's confidence can rub off on you. Train your mind to be more happy. Drink more water, take more risks, and eat the fourth piece of fried chicken. Make you happy. 

Step two - Do things you're good at.

Whether is baking a huge three tiered chocolate cake or just being awesome at a specific video game, sometimes doing the things you're good at, or even just reminding yourself of those things can give you a lil' confidence boost until you train yourself to believe it 24/7. You can do the thing! I believe in you!

Step three - Accept compliments.

Do you think your favourite celebrity responds to a compliment with, "Thanks but xxxx could have been better"? No, they probably smile, say "Thank you" and continue on with their day knowing that the compliment given was 100% true. In situations like that, you just got to think to yourself: What would my fav celeb do?

Step four - Body language.

That's right, the way you slump in that chair right there? It's basically another way of saying don't come near me, when really you're dying to get in with that conversation about who did what with a cucumber. So instead of slumping, pull yourself, up, use some body language, smile and make some awkward eye contact whilst also eyeing up the hot guy who you'd like to do some things with a cucumber.

Step five - Relax and switch off.

Treat yourself to some down time when you're having a really not feeling so hot day. Buy a couple of face masks, treat yourself to a takeaway and a bath with your favourite Lush bath bomb and love yourself. Sometimes days like these can lift you spirits in the end, even if it doesn't feel like it to stat with.

Step six - Don't over think it.

Now I know this is easier said than done. I can't count on my fingers anymore about how many times I've over-thought a situation that turned out okay in the end, which it will! The main thing for this is to actually talk to someone about it. Your friend, your mum, your dad, your sister, your brother even your cousin twice removed. Someone will always be there for you. Don't let that little voice in your head go "But they might have their own problems to deal with they don't need mine on top" Becuase that voice is bullshit. Someone will always be there to sit down, text, email, call and talk things through with you.

Step seven - Go DO stuff.

Go outside. Explore. Swim, run, roll, go to the cinema, eat and do whatever you want (within reason). Create a life for yourself where you can look back in so many years and think to yourself "I'm so glad I did that" Instead of "What If". Don't live your life on what ifs live your life the way you want. If you have difficulty in living life the way you want because of whatever reason, find friends to make it easier. Online, in real life, that one guy you sent a letter to who's currently in prison and probably would never actually want to meet in person. Find security in yourself and in your solitude. Be the best you that you can be. 

But most importantly, just do you. Consistently. People will eventually expect you to act as you do, and it won't ever be an issue. 
And if all else fails, listen to Katrina in your undies and sing into your hairbrush like the pop star you really are.

This is just a blog post to say..

I feel cute. 
It's amazing what a shower and some eyeliner can do after preasure washing the back garden most of the day and being covered head to toe in mud. 
Mumma bear wanted to take me out for dinner to say thank you, so here's my dumb face (not featuring the mud): 

I'm absolutely in love with this cardigen right now which I snatched up for £9 at Matalan, thank you very much. More body positive days please.

Beach Adventures

Today was a good day.
It's been a long time since I had a pretty decent mental health day but today was nice. No worries, no cares, no nothing. Just ocean, ice-cream and chocolate cake. (And obviously chicken).

Although it was due to be quite stormy today, mother nature suprised us and yet again gave us some beautiful weather, which was great for me after being stuck in the house for two days due do not having a shower; I'll give you the short version, my sister blocked the bath, no plumber available for two days, you get the jist of things. In the end, my hair was a giant grease ball, gross. Is that over sharing? Nah.

Me and my friends decided on a whim to head to Lyme Regis. I've never been there before personally, and neither have they so why not? 

And i'll be honest, it was bloody lovely. Sure, we should have gone earlier in the day, but the sea air and smell of fish and chips was bliss. 

It was just nice to get out of the house and breath. 

(I obviously Instagrammed the shit out of this photo)

For someone who spends most of their hours sat in front of a computer, it was just nice to switch off for once. I think everyone needs that once in a while, turn off the PC, but your phone on airplane mode and just take in the scenery.

Obviously it wasn't all sunshine and rainbows. On the drive back mother nature decided it was time to piss down with rain, honestly, I've never seen rain come down so hard before, that added with thunder and lightning. Awe yiss. As we were coming home though it was so weird driving from a storm back into sunny weather, it was like, mother nature make up your mind. And then one of my friends tells me its supposed to snow again next weekend!? I honestly bloody hope it doesn't. I can't be dealing with anymore snow.

It was a lovely, spontaneous day. 
How did you spend your Saturday?

Not Worth Reading

Oh hai.
So, I'm gonna jump right into it but lately my mental health has taken a little (I say little, lets sugar coat it a bit, shall we? downturn. Recent life events have left me feeling a little broken. I won’t go into those events, that's an entirely different blog post all together for another day, but I just wanted to get what I'm writing here out of my head so it's not in there swirling around for the next few days..

I have no motivation to do anything, which is ridiculous because if anything my life is supposedly going great right now; New job, a horrible ex out of my life and blocked forever, slowly but surely becoming more healthy (ha!). But most days right now when I wake up I sometimes wish I didn't. As awful as that sounds, I find that most of the dreams I have right now are better than my reality, I've written some of them down for future reference (who knows, maybe I could make my weird dreams into something someday) and to see if any of the scenarios in my dreams conflict with reality but nothing, zilch, nada. I feel like my brain knows what's going on and trying to make the best out of a shit situation.

I know there's this whole stigma with people on social media who shouldn't write about their problems online and they should be happy all the time but truth is no one is happy all the time, if they are, I want whatever they're are taking. Life has it's ups and downs and I'm just having a major down moment in my life right now which is ridiculous. I have so much to look forward to; starting a new job, growing my stream, going to events and meeting people, but all that is at the back of my mind. I just feel a little bit broken.

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Like I said before, I just needed to get all this shit written down in front of me rather than swim in my head, personally, I find writing stuff down makes me feel at least 85% better since its out of my head in clear in front of me. Does that make sense? I'll snap out of it soon, I usually do. I just need to sort myself out and get out of this slump. If you find you're going through something similar don't hesitate to contact  me, because no one should go through anything like this alone. Surround yourself with friends, love and positivity. You can do this.

(P.S. Thanks for listening to me ramble, I'm just being a dumb dumb)