Trying To Be Healthy (Again..)

Oh hai,

So I decided to take control of my health (again). Obviously because of the problems with my leg, I'm going to take it easy on the exercise side of things for now, and hopefully taking up swimming again later. I still have little to no motivation for 'being healthy' because "I'm fat already what difference is it going to make?". But if it means I'll be in less pain with my leg, happier and healthier I'm willing to try literally everything; Whilst I still have the mentality to anyways. 

Any who, for the past few days I've been logging what I eat onto the My fitness pal app, I've done this in the past and it seemed to work for me since I could see what I've been eating, how many calories it had and all that fun stuff but it's harder for me to keep track of everything than I remember. Maybe it's because I'm in such a bad state of mind with all things 'Healthy' but I find it such a struggle sometimes to log everything and stay under my calorie goal (which I've made to be no more than 1,500 calories per day). 
Another struggle I've had is forcing myself to eat breakfast. From someone who's never eaten breakfast before to now eating it everyday my body is sort in what's going on mode.  I'll admit, toast and jam probably isn't the most healthiest of breakfasts, but something is better than nothing for me right now, just while I'm getting used to it at least, and then I can go on to switch it out for something more healthier and less packed with sugar. 

I found I've been sleeping a lot more too. I'm a regular napper, a nap queen if you will. But I'm trying so hard to not nap so I can sleep all through the night rather than go to bed at stupid o'clock and wake up at 6am because I'm I've had a four hour nap, and just being tired and sluggish for the rest of the next day. I'll admit, my new medication makes me RIDICULOUSLY tired, but I needed to find a better time to take them because usually taking them around 7pm makes me shattered for 8pm then i'll sleep all through until 6am which I feel is a stupid amount of sleep. I've decided though to only take this medication every other day from now on, If the sleeping side effect wares off eventually. I don't want to have withdrawals from not taking them. 

Any who, I'm not going to go and throw how much I weigh around here right now but my first goal is to loose 25lbs, then 50lbs, then 7lbs, and I think you get it from there. Ultimatly, I'd love to loose around 100lbs (45kg or 7 stone, however you read it), And that really is a lot of weight but I want this to be a slow process, not a happen all at once then pile the weight back on one. 

 These Quotes about Weight Loss Are Hilarious - and Motivating ... Learn More>> www.healthandfitn...
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So it's officially on my blog, Laura is trying to be healthy (again). Shall we place bets on how long I'll last this time? Buahaha.

My Body is Broken

I can't seem to catch a break, or more so, my body can't. 
I can count the amount of  chest infections I've had alone this year on both my hands, let alone the problems with my leg. Don't even get me started with the problems with my leg and the way it's effecting me mentally, but; I'm gonna tell you anyway..

About two years ago now, I was happy and on holiday in Ibiza, casually sunbathing, minding my own business, when I felt the weirdest sharp pain go up through my left left. I looked down and saw a sort of red patch forming, kind of like sun burn, so I went to chill in my room and didn't think anything more of it.

And that's where things go more wrong. 
My temperature sky rockets, I'm freezing cold, but boiling to the touch, hallucinating, sickness, you name it, I had it. Looking back now, I wouldn't even wish those symptoms on my worst enemy let alone myself (again). So, my (now ex) boyfriend at the time reluctantly wakes up and takes me to the front desk of the hotel we're staying at so they can call me an ambulance. Nope, no ambulances available, not at 3 in the morning apparently. Just my luck, so they call me a taxi. A taxi. By this time I'm hallucinating more than I had already, I'm trying not to be sick in the back of the taxi so the driver wont be super mad and I just remember thinking over and over "What the hell is my body doing". And then finally, we make it to the hospital, and it was all a blur from there really, I went in thinking I had Sunstroke and came out with Cellulitis and i'll be honest, my leg hasn't been the same since. I get times where I just want to cut it off my body it's that painful and awful to look at, and I know I shouldn't think like that but it was a really traumatic experience for me, being in a country I've never been to before, communicating with doctors via Google translate because we couldn't get a translator, being on a lot of pain killers and antibiotics, and remembering I just want to be home. 

Fast forward to now and I've had nothing but problems with the bloody thing. Non stop swelling, pain and quite a bit of crying. Countless doctors visits and being told that I should just keep my leg elevated, you sort of just give up trying to get it sorted or some sort of diagnosis, y'know? It's like no one believes how much pain I'm in with it so I might as well just dose myself up with pain killers and get on with it, so many others have it worse, so why should I complain?

I've got another Emergency doctors appointment this afternoon and the doctor mentioned something about a blood clot but that could be a worse case scenario and I'll be sent home again to 'elevate' my meat stick. I'll edit this blog post and let you all know later what happens, if anything. Fingers crossed something gets sorted. 
Life with Fibromyalgia/ Chronic Illness by bertha
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Edit: So it turns out I have Lymphoedema which you can read about more here. But basically it's a chronic condition that causes swelling. I have Secondary Lymphoedema which means damage was caused to the lymphatic system (where my Cellulitis comes in to play, yay) but it also causes me quite a bit of pain. I'm hoping now I know what it is properly I can manage it better but we'll see how things go for now. Thanks for caring about me <3

Weekend Wonders

Oh hai.

I thought it be about time I wrote another blog post, and what better time to do it then when you're sat at work, doing almost nothing, because you're the best-est employee ever who's finished all their work (Draw backs to being the best-est employee ever include: sitting and staring at a screen for more than three hours, finding puzzle games highly amusing, realizing you've had Google chrome installed on your work PC all along after finding it immensely painful using Internet Explorer). But now, I can jot some ideas down on my blog After I've done my work obviously, I'm no slacker (please don't fire me). 

Do you ever get it where the weekend goes really slow but really fast all at once? That's how it was for me this weekend, Friday and Saturday went by super slowly, but i blinked, Sunday was gone and here I am, a brand new work week. Perhaps Saturday went by ever so slowly because I may have been a little hungover from the night before - My best friend came down from Nottingham so myself and a couple other friends (I say friends, they're more like sisters) had drinks at mine, played card games and stayed up till stupid o'clock in the morning, and i'll be honest, it was one of the nicest nights I've had in a while where I've not gone outside, I think I prefer drinking at home. Is this what getting old is?

Sunday though wasn't that nice, it was one of the most bad mental health days I've had in a while, and while I have some every so often that I can shake off during the day, this one wouldn't budge. It was awful, I haven't felt that low in a long long time, and I can't think why I even felt like it in the first place, looking back to yesterday, it was mostly a blur, spent in bed or playing Tekken 7. (Do you realize how hard it is to play this game with a broken controller. Very).

And now, back to Monday, a brand new week and a fresh start and I'm feeling somewhat better about myself. Maybe it was the fact I ate breakfast this morning, which makes me wonder why I don't scoff down Toast and jam every morning because it's bloody delicious, or maybe it's because it wasn't that humid this morning - Who knows, I'm embracing the 'not feeling like crap' part whilst I still can. 

Pin for Later: 16 Hilarious, Real-Girl Fashion Quotes  Because squeezing into skinny jeans on a Monday is just . . . ugh.
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Oh! And before I forget, I'm looking at giving my blog a fresh face soon, so keep your eyes peeled for that!