So as I sit here at my work desk I find little or no motivation to carry on with any of the coursework I'm supposed to be doing. I'll stare at the screen for a few hours hoping something will come to my head but then nothing comes into my mind for me to write. Honestly, I din't think a Business apprenticeship would be so hard, but when it asks me to explain things like 'Tax liabilities' and ask me to explain about every work act under the sun, my brain just goes into full on melt down mode.
Not even a usual melt down, like anxiety ridden, more like the nope I'm not doing this today melt down. 
So I try and sit here to gain motivation to at least write something in my own words that I found on Google but still nothing. It's like my brain doesn't want to work at all. And then I get the "You're so useless you can't do anything" thought in my head, which I know I can, I just have no motivation to. How do I get that motivation back?
Honestly I cannot wait for my upcoming annual leave, I know I've only been here a few months but my brain feels frazzled and I need time to re-charge. 
And a nap.. A nap sounds good right now. 

Why I love Blogging

Back in 2015 I decided to open up Just Laura, my blog. My motivation for it was to share stories of my doings, some sorts of reviews and general crap I deemed interesting to write about at the time. My first ever blog post which you can find here was literally me just ranting on about how I'd just opened the blog and what you can expect. I will admit there have been times where my blog has had little to no activity which looking back I really regret. I love writing, it's the only activity I do that keeps me a bit sane, when I can think of something to write about any way, and I see other bloggers with different backgrounds like beauty bloggers, mum bloggers, lifestyle bloggers and I questioned for a while what category I came under and whether I should keep blogging or not, and then I thought, why should I fall under any category? Why can't my blog be a Laura category or me category, I started out writing this blog with myself in mind, why not keep doing so?

And so I am going to keep doing so, and for the few people who do read my blog, and have done over these weird and wonderful three years, thank you. I appreciate you. 

I'm hoping in the upcoming months my blog will have a little more consistency to it in regards to posting but I'm not promising anything, just know that I have quite a few posts in my drafts right now and a few ideas I'd like to write about in the future so keep an eye out for that. In the mean time, just expect random rants and thoughts from myself.
What would you like me to write about? Let me know in the comments and I could make a post about it!

Toodlepip xx

Hello, August

Another month has passed, and here I am welcoming August with a big hello, or should I say, a resentful one. Don't get me wrong, I love summer as much as the next person, but when it comes with 30C heat on continuous days and working with little ventilation or AC you start to wonder when will it ever be cold again.  
Being more on the chubbier side has its perks, especially in Winter because I'm well insulated but in the summer I just resent this body because of how hot it is and that it sweats in places I never knew you could sweat. My whole diet right now is anything cold, albeit, Ice-cream is not the healthiest thing to live on.. Perhaps I should move onto ice cubes (I'm kidding do not even attempt to live of ice cubes). But really, how does anyone cope in this heat? Sure, it's nice when we're abroad, but us Brits aren't built for this kind of weather, we've built houses to keep heat in, with no air conditioning and everyone fighting over a little plugged in fan if you're lucky. 

So with it being a new month, and me not sticking to any of the goals that I originally had planned for myself this year, at all, I thought it might be a good idea to make mini goals each month that should be slightly easier to stick to, so that I can implement them into my everyday routine.

  • Walk more 
As boring as it sounds to me, walk more, even if it's just around my work. I need to get out and about and moving more rather than take naps every time I get home from work. I know this isn't at all good for me but my sleeping schedule is pretty much non-existent right now and I'm running on three to four hours sleep when it should be eight. It's just finding the motivation to actually go outside and get out and about rather than give into the nap urges..

  • Completely cut out fizzy drinks
They're not good for me, my body, my teeth. Whats the point? Sure they taste nice at the time but honestly I don't feel good after I've downed an entire bottle of coca cola. Switching fizzy drinks for water will be better for me in the long run, especially for my skin!

  • See a movie
I haven't been to the cinema in ages! It's good to get out sometimes and I think seeing a movie will do just the trick. Have you guys got any recommendations for me? 

  • Fix my non-existent sleep schedule
I really need to stop napping and start sleeping at normal times because going to bed around 1am and then waking up for 6am to start a nearly eight hour work day is really starting to take it's toll on my body. I want to start switching my computer off around 11:30pm just to begin with and then get straight into bed. (I should also probably stop endlessly scrolling through Instagram when I'm in bed too..)

  • Stream more
Ha, Laura, you're so funny. But really, I miss streaming and I should do it more often but I freeze when I click the go live button and my anxieties take over. "No one wants to watch you when there's someone better". I need to stop listening to that and remember the reason why I started streaming in the first place. To make friends. Don't get me wrong, I've met some amazing people through Twitch who I wouldn't be without now but I'd love to grow our little Lizard club some more since it's been a little quiet lately. I've decided to try and stream  one consecutive day a week, then up that when I feel more confident, and I know one stream day doesn't sound like much but to me it really is. It's something I'm working on so please bare with me whilst I do and thank you to those who are already doing so ❤️

So there it is. My thoughts and feelings and goals of this month, I guess we'll see how much I stick to and how much I don't (again). Wish me luck!